Was a future, now a history.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

My last post was in 2019, and I wrote nothing in 2020. Reason? Probably I was occupied with several matters that require my attention, and probably it was just because of my bad time management ahaha. Because if you want to really do it, you will find time for it, they said. I actually take some time to finish writing this post because probably lost my momentum already, this post itself might be patchy with a not really smooth flow. But since I have a month of semester break before starting my last semester for undergraduate study plus I am stuck in mahallah for the whole time, this is one of my attempt to stay sane.

2020 seemed so futuristic when we were in school. I remember doing a project in Standard 5, Tabung Wawasan 2020. Still can remember the design okay (kalau lah boleh ingat semua MOA ubat macam ni lol). And the association of 2020 with the flying cars is surely a significant one, signifying how futuristic is 2020 in our expectation. However, 2020 that we went through was on the other side of the coin (am I using the phrase correctly lol). The year that once a future that all of us were looking forward, now is a history that shall be remembered. 2020 surely hit us all differently. No one expected a pandemic. Not going to elaborate deeply on that because it will be probably a lengthy post and it is everywhere on the internet, but I will surely remember the year. It was a challenging year but alhamdulillah I passed the phase. There are times that I wished I did better, I wished I made a different decision (that affect others) but I am certainly grateful for everything that I went through.

 

2020 was a year of my many “firsts”, well I think for most of us too. It was the first time that I slept for weeks in standby mode with my phone not set in silent mode anymore, because there are still students on campus and I was at home. Need to keep being updated on the instructions, or whatever information required from SUPC, from the administration. I even change the ringtone for messages from my DDSDCE to ensure that I will be alert for any important messages. The WhatsApp groups that I muted before, were unmuted. Several online meetings to cater for students’ welfare and learning experiences. IPhA online meetings to restructure everything. Long story short, ERTL was implemented as there was no chance for students to return to campus. It was my first time to attend class from home, sometimes in pyjamas lol. First time having presentations but able to wear seluar duduk rumah je since the camera can only see my tudung and baju hahahah. First time sitting for the online final examination and had a virtual OSCE. 

I had a meeting with the Dean, Deputy Deans and all HOD regarding our final exam schedule and I was so, so nervous. That was not my first time attending meeting with kulliyyah administrators because I attended once when I was in Year 1 as IPhA representative, but this time, the meeting was held because of the letter that I sent to the Dean (with the support from DDSDCE of course). That was the first time I actually presented the concerns of KOP students verbally in front of all kulliyyah administrators. Then the pandemic situation in Malaysia was kind of getting better and we were allowed to do our community posting attachment. Sini lagi la banyak first time hahaha. Learnt how to deal with the suppliers, customers. First time I performed a blood pressure measurement to an actual patient. Oh, blood glucose test as well. Nervous tau nak cucuk jari orang lain :’)

Since the situation in the country was getting better, students are allowed to return to campus in October, including the new intakes. So IIUM opened the application for TaWe committee, and I applied. When the result was out, I was kind of shocked. Head of Registration. Another “firsts”; first time to join TaWe in degree, and appointed as Head. But my experience in TaWe deserves its own post. 

Other than the good “firsts”, I have my bad “firsts” too. Experienced the first panic attack in my life. Literally gasping for air and did not know what to do as I was alone in my room and we were not allowed to tell anyone about what happened in the campus on that time, so I was unable to reach my sister or my close friends. Called Dr. Z instead and felt better. Oh, 2020 was my first time experiencing a very, very painful episode too. Cried for about 90 minutes while Facetiming Nani, and even she was shocked to see me in that situation. Esok tu nangis lagi, and on some random days kahkahkah I was so fragile and idk, probably stupid. 

This year also taught me a lot especially on perspectives. I acknowledge the fact that we have different perspectives on certain matters, but my involvement in managing and handling the students make it clearer. Ada je benda yang jadi which in those situations tiada siapa yang betul atau salah. I will elaborate on this in another post, insyaAllah. 

Btw, 2021 does not seem to be better than 2020, so far. Another MCO, the unknown date of forensic exam, the unknown decision on physical attachment and all the uncertainties. There is surely hikmah in all the events, but our concern is valid. We can’t just be the fish that follow the flow without having any effort to at least swim to get to our intended direction right? But after all, He is the best planner. Let us put our utmost trust in Him, semoga kita semua mampu redha dengan semua perkara yang terjadi di luar kemampuan kita.

It's 2019.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

I think it is not too late to wish everyone a happy new year! May this new chapter be a very good and meaningful one. Well, I am currently in my final exam period. My new year eve was basically me and my PNS lecture notes xD I am taking 8 core subjects for this semester and 2 university-required subjects. For finals, I have 10 papers including OSCE and OSPE.

I have 3 more papers next week. I really, really hope I don't mess up with these 3 papers because I only have a one-day gap for the next paper. Pray for me!

Anyway, my new year resolution is to blog weekly. Semoga Athirah berjaya. Actually, I planned to write my first 2019 post yesterday, after my PNS paper but guess who slept after lunch all the way until 3 pm lulz #SleepyheadSince2010. Then, I had dinner with my TaWe-mates. Will write about that in another post. I am so happy because finally I have a proper interaction with human hahahaha. Exam period ni memang tak ada social life langsung. I think I only speak less than 200 words per day kot? Tu pun sebab interact dengan makcik cafe / orang kiosk kahkahkah. Ye la because almost everyday I will go to KOP to study at Student's Lounge because it is a conducive place for me. Got aircond, big tables, can eat and drink, and nak solat dekat surau KOP ni pun selesa. Dekat library tak boleh minum nescafe and the mussola is smol and not comfortable for me. Dengan CFS students yang bising tu lagi, pft. 

I think that's all for the first post of 2019, kinda hambar isn't it? Hahahhaha it's been a long time since my last post so my writing mood isn't fully activated, gittew kan alasan LOL. Alright, bye! If you read this, doakan Athirah and my Rx16 members can excel in this semester because undeniably, it is really tough. I wish all of you the best too! 

Say hi to Marsya, (again).

Langit yang Sama, Dunia yang Berbeza

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Recently, on Twitter there was (and still ongoing I guess) discussion/argument about the nafkah (monthly allowance provided by the husband for the wife's expenses. It is different with the money for the grocery, bills etc) thingy. It started with a tweet saying something like "To the wives and future wives, you should record every nafkah given by the husband, how much you get and how much did you spend for the family while it is supposed to be your husband's responsibilities because if anything happened, you got proof to show to the court". Apparently, that causes rage among some other Twitter users, mostly the male. Among the obnoxious replies to the tweet are:

Tapi kan bagi saya bunyi ayat ni mcm memang betul betul ada plan untuk bercerai, sorry just pendapat bila baca tadi haha

 Great idea. Suami dan bakal suami pun boleh juga sediakan diari untuk catat nafkah yg kau bagi dan semua yg extra2, hadiah2 yg ikhlas diberi. Check and balance. Then boleh tulis jugak time isteri tak patuh dan ingkar dan tanggungjawab yg dia miss. You know for audit and stuff

Pergh goldigger in the making.

Prepare untuk cerai, dapatlah cerai. 

And there are also replies from the youngsters, telling the harsh reality of what happened to their families. About their irresponsible fathers, about their moms that had been the sole breadwinner of the family while the dads are enjoying their life to the fullest. Some fathers only care for their monthly car payment but all the household expenses, the utility bills, the children's needs are being neglected, leaving the mothers with no choice but to spend their own money.

And as expected, there are replies saying it's a disgrace for them to actually expose their fathers' doing, which reminds me to another tweet that went viral during the past Ramadan that tells a girl's disappointment of a husband that simply sat at the dining table during sahur and said something like "did you forget to take my spoon?" to the wife that woke up at 4 a.m. to prepare the meal and still had no chance to eat instead of just get up and take the spoon by himself.

There were also replies to the tweet telling the same thing happens in their families; about the father that expected to be treated like a king. Just need to take his seat during the meal time and everything else is ready and served, then left the table after done with the meal without even taking his own plate to the sink. Never helped in the house chores as well. Then, there was a tweet saying something like

What's wrong with serving your husband / father? They had been working hard to support the family, giving everything your need. I have no problem to treat my husband / father like a king because that's what they deserve. They've done so much for us.

Well, here is where my title relates to the content. Not all of us are living a happy life. Some are from broken families. Some fathers are like what I stated previously. And for that reason, the children lost their respect for the fathers, because they have seen how their mother struggles to support the family. Probably, their fathers had done worse things that we can't imagine, just because we are lucky enough to have a responsible and lovely father.  And of course, not only fathers. There are mothers that never care for their children too. There are mothers that only use their children to make money without even thinking about the children's well being. 

So, if you meet someone who refuses to talk about their family, or you know someone that hates his / her family members. Do not judge. Not everyone is lucky to have a happy family. Not everyone has a father that never forget his responsibilities, a father that sacrifices his sleep just to pick us up at the bus station at 4.30 a.m, a father that calls us frequently to ask how we are doing. Not everyone has a mother that never rejected our request for our favourite food, because we were away from home for months. Not everyone has siblings that willing to pick our phone call in the midnight, listen to our rants and shed our tears, and help us when we are in troubles. Not everyone has the chance to celebrate Hari Raya happily, with all the families and relatives gathering together. Some even hates Hari Raya.

Some of us are lucky because we don't have an abusive father, that hit you every single day. We probably never know how it feels to see our parents quarrel with an outburst of profanity right in front of our eyes or that feeling when we are calling our mother in the morning before the exam to ask for her prayer but we were scolded because we ruin her morning routine instead. We never know how hurt it was when a child bought his / her sibling's favourite food but only came home to get beaten because he/she didn't know that the sibling wasn't allowed to eat that food. We never know how it emotionally disturbed it was to be molested several times by our own family member, living a traumatised life and had to act like nothing happened and all is well just for the sake of "jaga aib".  (This is the harsh reality of the society. There are a lot of unreported cases because of jaga aib thingy.) We never know how disappointing it can be when we studied very hard and scored excellently just to get a remarks like "this is mediocre, you can never beat your older sibling".

In short, all of us are living under the same sky, but we all are living a different life. Be grateful with our blessings, because there are people out there who really want to live our life. Never judge someone's act, decision or behaviour without being in his/her shoes. 

Bye!

Syukur.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Since the last post is a bit negative, let me compensate the positivity meter hehehehe.

Takde la, what I'm going to say ni actually tetiba came across my mind time nak balik from library haritu. Okay, let me give you the full situation. 

Now, most of the UG students except for some Medic and Dentistry students are on the semester break which is a week. And, I did not go home :) Some people are saying "seriously tak balik? Seminggu kot?" and paling tak guna sekali "mak kau halau kau eh?" lulz. Y'all, I got 3 quizzes and a midterm next week and 2 assignments to be started (bukan completed tau, mula pun belum hm). Sebagai seorang yang sedar diri bahawa rumah adalah tempat yang sangat best untuk tidur, then I decided to stay here. Plus, I already went home last two weeks, sebab homesick lol.

So, when I decided to not go home, I planned my daily schedule. What subjects should I study and what topics should I finish in a day. Actually, I am still figuring out is it me yang sekarang ni lambat sangat nak faham and dah lah can't 100% remember what I'm studying (I took the whole day to study one lecture note of Pharmaco T_T) or it's the subjects yang tough so it really needs time to fathom all those facts. So long story short, I was a bit frustrated la because at the end of the day, there's still a lot that I didn't study for. Pharmaco, Organic Chem, and Biochem yang tak sentuh langsung lagi tu, Microbes chapter Virus yang dah lupa padahal next 2 weeks ada quiz.

Tapi time nak kemas barang sebab nak balik from library, tetiba terlintas, "Alhamdulillah for today. At least I gained something, at least ada benda yang I have better understanding now." And I was like, hm patutlah selama ni rasa macam what I did is not enough, macam dah study pun tapi rasa tak tenang sebab can't really hafal everything. Ha, sebab tak bersyukur! Hm, I know that's bad sila jangan ikut. But, when that thought crossed over my mind sumpah rasa tenang ;). So, instead of tengok apa yang kita tak capai, be proud of what we have achieved. Sebab, when I overthink pasal tak sempat nak study, nak catch up, my mind will ultimately be messed up and finally, nothing is done sebab can't focus. Study benda ni tapi teringat yang tu tak study lagi, serabut!

Maka, it's okay. Do it at your own pace and of course need improvement but do not punish and overstress yourself okay?

Xx.

Final exam and gifted.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Well it's 2018 already and my last post was in October 2017 hehe. Was thinking to blog at least once a week but then hm no consistency I think. Being a degree student is not a joke man. Yaaaaa I know baru first year and first sem but this is my phase okay? I know it will get harder by times and I will see today’s challenge and hardship as only a small matter but hey, human grows?

Sebenarnya tengah buat soalan MCQ for physiology OMG tomorrow is the day doh can’t believe the day is really coming. Ya that sounds dramatic but that’s one thing about me. I get pretty nervous and in unbelievable phase when the real important days are really coming, i.e. final exam days, Along’s wedding day, my Uni registration day and the list goes on. Tapi Alhamdulillah everything went well je nobody is hospitalised sebab terkejut the day is really coming lol.

Actually this post only to convey a message. It have been lingering in my mind since umm idk 2013? Ya, you know in any class there will be that one kid (or more) that looks like he/she did nothing extra or even nothing at all but then bila result keluar fuh nama mereka la teratas. And other students will be saying “gifted bolehlah”, as in they did nothing but they achieve everything. I personally think that if you are not with them 24/7, you do not really see what they are doing outside of the class, you should not label them as gifted.

Because some of em really works hard, it just us that did not see their effort. Some of them burnt the midnight oil, belum cerita hubungan dia dengan Tuhan macam mana, they really pay attention in class while some of us kalau dah tak faham tu terus give up (cakap dengan cermin).  Kalau kita memang 24/7 berkepit dengan orang tu and tahu dia memang tak belajar and result still excellent boleh la kot nak kata dia gifted. But when people works really hard to achieve something but then labelled as ‘that person who did nothing but achieve everything’ is kinda hurting, yes? These people memang bukan jenis nak bagitahu orang how’s their effort pun, some of them sacrifise a lot, so we should not disregards their effort kan? Tapi cuba tanya apa dia buat sampai dia boleh score alright?

Okay tu je nak cakap doakan I can answer my paper well tomorrow, adios! 

Life Update - December 2016

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Long time no see! (Macam la ada orang baca lol). But who cares hahaha. So my last post was in August 2016 and now it's December! *christmas song.mp3* Here are a few things happened in the past 4 months.

1) I graduated from CFSIIUM yeay! Alhamdulillah I think I did well, although my CGPA is not 4.00 but I am really grateful that I pernah rasa dapat GPA of 4.00 which was on Sem 3, 2015/2016. And that is the best semester ever. The subjects, the lecturers and my financial condition pun was reallyyyyyy okay :')

2) I've done my kuliyyah interview yeay! For those who doesn't know, students of CFSIIUM from several courses (Medic, Pharmacy, Dentistry, Allied Health Sciences and Nursing) will need to attend an interview session to secure a place in kuliyyah (degree). There's a story about the interview process, but I think I'll write it in another post. Just a friendly reminder for those who thinking to apply for CFSIIUM or UIA for your foundation studies, remember this 

UIA and last minute notice berpisah tiada 

3) Along is married! The akad nikah ceremony is on Nov 11, 2016 and the kenduri was held on the day after.

4) I am officially unemployed. I have like almost a year of holiday before entering degree life (it's a very long stories and I am very sure all of CFS students pun dah muak nak bagitahu kenapa). Applied for jobs already but still no replies. So I'm currently staying at home, doing some house chores, socializing through the social media and sometimes I bake and cook new recipes.

5) Fudhla is two years old already! hehehe. She has no biological relationship with me but she is my sister's friend's friend's daughter. Sometimes they babysit her, sometimes they visit her since she was a baby. Oh! She has a baby brother already! His name is Fawwaz. What a handsome name kan!

Okay I think that's all for today. Till next time, bye!

You are not as bad as you think.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

It took some courage for me to write this down and maybe a little high self esteem 😹.  Just want to share about what happened to me. I have always been that girl who thinks that I am not good enough, like I am the ugliest, the most bad, the most lazy umm to make it simple everything bad is mine.

1. I grown up with the surrounding of those aunties who "I don't even know where did they came from like you are not even my grandmother's child so who are you" who think they are cool and it's okay to talk about my physical in front of me. Their dialogues would be something like these: "Besarnya anak kamu, belajar mana?" when I was still in school. Or "dah sama besar anak dengan mak". To all 90s generations who are going to be the aunties, please don't be like those kepochi makciks. It somehow make me feel low, and of course I am sad. But, when I was in school there was one friend who is always being honest, told me something that makes me feel like "Oh, I'm not that fat. I'm not that big." Yes, thanks to you Cheah, I still remember your words till now. 
2. One of my insecurities is my voice. It isn't husky or girly or umm something nice to be heard. I did not like my voice till I have problems to speak in front of the class or even to volunteer as the Imam of congregational prayers just because I don't like to hear my own voice, plus when everyone else is quiet. But, one fine day something happened. It was our first RKA class and like usual we had to introduce ourselves. After I did mine, the lecturer told me. "You have a very nice voice." Bang! Someone said something that I never heard of for 19 years of my life. Although I still have doubt to talk in public but I somehow know that my voice isn't that bad and I still can talk confidently in my oral interview earlier in the morning ;)
3. I have something in my arms which also sometimes make me feel ugly. But last week if I'm not mistaken, someone looked at my arms and said "cantiknya tangan kamu!". And I was like apa benda yang cantik ntah then she said "cantik la ni!"

Yes, though all those nice words can't change the facts of what I look like but at least I know that I am not as bad as I think I was, and if you think you are bad, no you are not. Thanks positive people!

Excel in school but fail in university? - Part 2.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Hi I had wrote about this before but I found some other reasons that came from one word, "momokan" and sorry I don't know what is that word in English. 

You know when you are done with your SPM and you want to know how the university life will be, and you scrolled your twitter timeline and most of the tweets that you'll found will sound like this.

• To be late to class is normal. Your lecturer would never care.
• To not understand any single thing that the lecturer taught is normal. You can just study before the final exam.
• It's okay to sleep in every class.
• It's okay for you to not sending your assignment on time. 
• To not cooperating in any teamwork is normal.
• Duduk dekat u ni kau bebas, takde peraturan suruh kau bangun subuh jemaah tiap pagi. Takde orang nak sekat apa kau nak pakai. Tak salah nak melawa tapi agak-agak la pergi class kot bukannya pergi shooting filem.
• And lots of other tweets that similar to these.

Let me first talk about #1 to #4. Maybe it’s true that some lecturers will never scold you if you are late for class like you were in school but yet they are human, and they are the one who gives you knowledge. So, one word, RESPECT! Then, to not understand any single thing in class. Yup, some of the lecturers don’t even care if you don’t understand anything that they’ve taught you because it is not their responsibility to ask each and one of you “do you understand?” simply because you are the one who should ask when you don’t understand. You are matured enough to know what is best for you. If you think you can read and understand 12 chapter for 4 subjects in a week then go on, sleep in every class you’re in.

So, for #5, yes you are right. In some university you are free to do to wear to talk to go whatever wherever whenever you want. But just simply don’t forget that you still have your religion, your Almighty God. Your parents can’t see what you are doing, but don’t forget that He can see everything.

To those in university, just stop poisoning your juniors’ mind. Don’t let them repeat the mistakes you did.

Unicorn

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Okay, so you guys must have heard about unicorn right? Okay if you loved unicorn you are on the same side with me, hand clap guys! But sadly after doing some research, yup unicorn did not exist.But guys i will provide you with some information on unicorn. Unicorn is a legendary magical animal that is described  as a beast with a large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead.It is believed that unicorn tears have magical healing power.Cool right? If and only if unicorn do exist thus curing cancer would be possible.But, nothing could compare to Allah greatness, only with Allah's permission we could do everything.Here some pictures of unicorn that could brighten up your day. ;)

But, despite its cute looking little chubby animal it's actually have it own power.It was traditionally believe that a virgin who was naked sitting beneath a tree could only catch the untamed unicorn.The unicorn who craves purity will be drawn to the girl and lie down with his head in her lap. While it slept, the hunter could capture it. If, however, the girl was merely pretending to be a virgin, the unicorn would tear her apart.Throughout the stories of the unicorn, its horn, the alicorn, is said to have great medicinal powers. In Ctesias’ writings, the dust filed from the horn was supposed to protect against deadly diseases if mixed into a potion. Or, if you drank from the horn, you would be protected against any poison. Often, a narwhale tusk was sold as an alicorn, and it was often ground up and used for its magical properties.

Okay so this is the end of my story about unicorn, let us face the reality that unicorn DO NOT EXIST! ugh right? okay till the next post guys, bye.

-Co-Writer, Niza Azmi-

Excel in school but fail in university?

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

   It's 11.05 pm and tomorrow is Monday which means I have class tomorrow but hooray tomorrow's class will start at 11 so I don't have to sleep early tonight :P So uhmm posting a new entry for my blog after a revision on ICT lesson sounds nice aite hehehehe.

   So basically, tomorrow is the last paper of SPM for the science stream students which is Biology, (Oh I miss my school life a lot! And my biology teachers too ;) ) and yeah tomorrow on Twitter I am firm that #SPM2015 will be trending as those kids are celebrating their "Merdeka time". I am also very sure that those who sat for SPM before this will said something like "Eleh SPM je pun nanti masuk U kau tahulah". Same situation happened when the UPSR result was announced recently, there were some people said "ala dapat 5A UPSR je pun nanti masuk sekolah menengah/universiti kau tahulah macam mana" and "RT kalau dulu anda dapat 5A UPSR tapi sekarang dah bangang". Undoubted Malaysians' sceptical mind.

   Okay I admit that I was one of those who experienced those changes. But, when I spent some time to think about that and how can it happened I found some causes and solutions. But, bear in mind that what I'll be pointing out is literally not about everyone, different people have different experience and all these examples are exceptional to those who excel from their first day of life until now.

1. From 5As to "bangang" in secondary school

   First thing first, I can say that this is simply caused by culture-shock, especially for those who was offered to be in hostel ; RK/Cluster Schools, SBP or MRSM. Some of these kids had never been apart from their parents so they are just so excited to feel the "freedom" without their parents. Some of them might think that this is a fun and golden chance to do everything they like because there will be no Mommy or Daddy to observe you and tell you to study everyday. Here is where they went wrong and should learn the lessons. Yes, there are no Mommy nor Daddy there to make you sit at your study table for 2 hours per night because that is your purpose to be in the hostel ; to be independent. Please be aware that it is you who can shape your future, starting from now.

Hostel kids trying to survive in their class ;)

   Next, I think that all those innocent kids that passed the UPSR with flying colours didn't do well in their first year of secondary school is mainly because peer pressure ; made mistake in choosing friends. Well if you befriended with those kaki carut kaki maki, you might as well be those kakis. And I am firm that everyone knows that banyak carut = hati gelap = ilmu susah masuk. So get the picture?

   This situation usually will be prolonged until they are in form 2 ; their first senior year. Lagi la naik tanduk! But when they are in Form 3 usually they will get the "wake up call" as they will be sitting for their PMR or PT3 or whatsoever that the KPM is planning.

   2. From 9As or 8As or excellent result in SPM to "pointer cukup makan" in university

   Ok actually I stopped typing this post yesterday and am continuing it right now on my pinky bed huhuhu. So, uhm have you ever heard anyone saying "budak sekolah harian lagi ok prestasi dari budak asrama bila dekat university"? Eureka! I found out one of the reasons! When we were in the boarding schools, one of the rules is of course the congregational prayers or Solat Berjemaah. Some schools obligate their students to perform all 5 daily prayers together at the musolla while some schools only obligate their students to perform Subuh, Maghrib and Isyak together. Regardless of whatever rules your school had stated, at least your soul was taken a good care and was feed by good soul foods. Yes, we all know after Maghrib prayers usually there will be Yaasin recitation together, or just normal tadarus and also recitation of Al-Mathurat after Subuh prayers. Sometimes, the school or Badan Kerohanian will also organise the Qiamullail. Not to forget Al-Mulk everynight before we hit the sack.

   But, when you are in the university no one will ever force you to go to the musolla or read the Al-Quran anymore. You don't want to perform the congregational prayer? You forget to read at least one page of Quran everyday? Your Al-Mathurat now is covered with dust? No one care! No one will ever force you to sit and read the Yaasin. It's all up on you, yes yourself. So when you forget to feed your soul, nah it's done. You started to feel that it's difficult (yes it is but don't worry it's bearable). So when you do not achieve your expectation or you don't pass the exams in flying colours like you usually did in school, you should sit and think where did you went wrong. Where is the hole that traps you and makes you fall.

   Ok, I know not all that I had written is applicable to everyone's situation but yet I had stated earlier that it is based on my own experience and observation. Do drop your own opinions ;)

Xoxo,

Rara :)

We Are Different.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

  Actually I've wanted to write about this since November 13 but when God doesn't allows, it wouldn't happen. Oh my excuse! :P

  Okay it all started on the November 13th itself. The UiTM-ers who are currently in their foundation year or diploma result was announced on that day. So one of my buddy was kinda disappointed with her result as she didn't manage to be in the Dean's list, as her GPA is 3.4+ which is just so near to 3.5 to be in the Dean's List. I really know how it feels when we are just so close to achieve our goal but we didn't. So, she tweeted about how frustrated her was, and surprisingly there were two other boys suddenly replied to her tweet with mocking and troll I might say, saying that she was just showing off her good result, and she didn't get what she wanted because she skipped her Subuh prayers. To be honest, I myself didn't expect that there are still humans with that BC minds.

  Dude, let me tell you okay. Not everyone is like you, who just take your study for granted, never aim to be the best and never be conscious about your exam results. Yes, I do understand that some people are not born to be excellent in academic because Allah is Fair, maybe they have other talents that could help them to live their life. I do understand how disappointed we will be when we are just 0.1 metre to reach our goal, plus we need that success to make our parents smile and be proud of us, at least they'll know that their sweats are not useless. No need for you to mock her and saying that she was just showing off. Maybe to some people, that 3.4++ is high enough and you should be grateful. Yes, these people are grateful with their result but at that moment they just can't think where did they went wrong that caused them to didn't reach their goal yet, are their efforts and hardwork are not enough? To these people, chin up, you didn't fail. It is just not your time yet, you are just not there yet. You'll be there, one fine day.

  

   So guys, it is almost 2016. Let's be someone new. Let's try not to hurt others okay? It costs you 0 bucks to let others be happy.

Xoxo,

Rara.

  

Choices.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

   These days, most of the people especially the netizens are being so judgemental. They think that they are the one who should be satisfied, despite of anyone's life it is. Well, everyone has the chances to make choices.

Some are crazy over social medias, while some would like to have privacy in their life.
Some choose to eat with their hands, while some prefer spoons and forks.

Some choose cinema, some prefer Astro First.

Some prefer to speak in English, while some is too proud with their own mother tongue.

Some loves Boost, while there are some who can't live without Chatime.

Some loves to eat chicken, while some are vegetarians.

   There are so much other examples but I think that is enough. You see, it takes 0 bucks for you to respect other's choices. Let them be happy with their life. There is no need for you to mock their choices like you are perfect enough. You don't need to interfere other's business unless their choices will affect themselves, the people surrounding, the nation and the most important ; our religion. Then, you should try and advice them to think about their choices, not just simply judge and kutuk sana sini. Guess what, some people can know when people are talking behind their back.

Let's try to fix ourselves so we can live in peace and harmony :)

Insecurities

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Hmmm this is an express post because this topic tetiba singgah di minda hahahahhaa acah je ayat.

Ok let's start. Kita selalu dengar ada yang cakap kat orang lain,

Kau cantik bolehlah. Kau mampu bolehlah.

And those yang dipuji akan kata,

 Kau bersyukurlah apa kau ada. Mesti kau akan bahagia.

Yes it's true that we have to be grateful for what we have, but aduh macam mana nak cakap eh. Sebab kau cantik, memang lah kau akan kata everything will be nice with just bersyukur. Please, put youself in their shoes. Rasa macam mana dia rasa terasing bila kawan-kawan dia semua cantik semua lawa. Kawan-kawan dia yang lain semua boleh dapat apa mereka nak tanpa usaha. Sedang dia yang usaha mati-matian korban itu ini korban duit, masih macam tu. Ya, pokoknya rezeki. Tapi kau tahu rasa dia macam mana bila dah beberapa tahun pun masih macam tu hidup dia? 

Sakit tau tak tengok orang lain yang cantik ni. Bukan nya dia takde usaha nak ubah diri dia. Macam-macam dia cuba buat supaya dia tak nampak macam the ugly duckling bila dia ada dengan kawan-kawan dia. But it all didn't turned out well for her. Semua tak jadi. Semua tak kena. Masih macam tu. Rasa nak menangis pun ada bila tengok gambar orang lain and tengok diri dia dalam cermin. Perit tau bila ada kawan-kawan dia bergambar tanpa dia and dalam hati dia fikir, "kalau ada aku dalam gambar tu mesti rosak gambar tu". And dia hanya mampu tumpang gembira tengok kawan-kawan dia bahagia dengan hidup. 

"Untungnya jadi macam dia." Memang insecurities some people ni tinggi. Sebab apa? Sebab dia pernah melalui realiti. Didiskriminasi. Bukan orang lain yang diskriminasi tu. Bila everyone is in the same circle and doing the same thing tapi kau seorang je yang kena marah, kena pandang pelik, apa kau rasa? Thats why some people is not being themselves. Takut. Takut apa yang dia buat semua orang tak boleh terima. Sebab dia tak sama macam orang lain. Dia takde apa-apa. And she lost herself. Dia bukan diri dia yang sebenar bila dia dalam masyarakat. Dia tak boleh nak suarakan pendapat dia. Dia hanya mampu diam. Lama-lama dia fobia untuk cakap depan crowds.

Lagi satu kes bila orang macam ni kena puji. Let say dia upload gambar dia and dia rasa dalam 1000 gambar dia sejak lahir, itu lah gambar paling ok dia ada. Then ada orang puji kata cantik and what so ever. Then dia kata takde lah mana ada cantik. And there will be a person pertikaikan, orang dah puji cakap je la thank you apa susah. Masalahnya yang so called kena puji tu tak tau itu satu pujian ke satu perlian. Sebab dia sedar diri. Lagi satu sebab dia tak tahu how to response to pujian because dia memang jarang dapat pujian. Sebab dia tiada apa-apa. 

Ok ini last, orang takde rupa ni tak boleh ke nak ada crush? Mesti dipandang pelik bila dia macam ada interest to any guy. People please, they have feelings too. Memang dia minat, tapi jauh dalam hati dia,dia sedar rupa dia macam mana, dia tahu dia tak layak. Maka sebab itu ia hanya berhenti takat minat. Tak lebih dari itu. Orang pandang dia hina, macam la dia nak ada syurga bawah telapak kaki orang yang dia minat. Dia tahu batas dia. Dia tahu apa yang boleh dan tak boleh. Kau tak tahu, orang yang dia minat tu bukannya dia nak kahwin pun dengan orang tu. lepas tu kau tuduh dia gatal la apa la. Bukan dia mintak perasaan tu nak datang. Dia juga manusia. Haiwan pun ada interest to their opposite gender kan. So please, tak payah judge orang. 

Sekian bebelan jemah hari ini. Ciao.

Pesanan Cikgu.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Ok let's make this short and simple because I'm already sleepy tapi tetiba rasa nak update blog hahahahaha. Dah tutup dah Chrome lepas tu bukak balik. Ok tadi aku dengan Husin pergi sekolah sebab ada majlis perpisahan pengetua, naik pangkat jadi ketua PPD Kinta Selatan. Pasal majlis tu kalau rajin I cerita ok hahahahaha

So macam biasa la lepas majlis jumpa cikgu-cikgu and cikgu ajak makan potluck ehehehehhehe syiok ok stop. And ada sorang cikgu baru ni, baru masuk tahun ni, Cikgu Rohiman nama dia (rasanya la ejaan camtu hehehehe) Time tu kitorang tengah sembang dengan teacher Aishah lepas tu she went to the toilet and cikgu Rohiman came to us.

" Student last year?"

Haah.

Lepas tu dia tanya dapat mana and mintak apa rasanya. Aku dengan Husin both dapat Matriks Negeri Sembilan. Husin kata dia nak ambik medik, aku kata la Farmasi. Ohh panjang cerita dan komplikasi pasal farmasi ni actually luls malas nak ingat nanti sakit hati. Lepas tu dia tanya aku kenapa tak ambik medic then aku kata oh no no hahahahaha 

Haaaaaaaaaaaa di sinilah bermulanya nasihat. Dia cakap banyak sebenarnya pastu dia macam bagi hint suruh “panjangkan pesanan” kat kawan-kawan tapi panjang betul apa dia cakap aku lupa la sikit hahahahha.

Tak ingat la tapi macam dia kata kenapa tak ambik medic terus. Aim higher gitu. Medic kena 4flat, farmasi 3 berapa ntah dia cakap aku lupa hahahhahaha panjang sebenarnya apa dia cakap tapi ni je yang aku mampu extract.

- Kalau takde minat, leave je. Macam dia memang nak jadi cikgu dari kecik. Tapi dia dapat matriks rasanya kalau tak silap la matriks. Tapi dia pergi sehari je pastu malam tu dia chiao sebab dia kata dia rasa takde hati (ke takde jiwa ntah hahahaha) untuk study bidang tu kat situ (lebih kurang la ayat dia).

- Bila kita minat satu bidang, cari satu tokoh yang strong dalam bidang tu. Tengok pathway dia, macam mana dia boleh berjaya macam tu. Tengok mana dia pergi.

- Bila masuk matriks (rasanya hahahaha) first sem takyah hirau lain. Fikir nak skor 4 flat je. Lagi yang nak ambik medic tu. 

- Ok yg ni cikgu che araine cakap dia kata kalau pape bidang pun cuba la study sampai jadi pakar. Eh cikgu rohiman pun ada kata pasal prof muhaya tapi tak ingat  butiran lanjut rasanya pasal buat research kot. sorry hahaha.

- Approach prof ke dr ke lecturer ke. Tanya pasal subject. Sebab kadang2 apa yang dia bagitau tu itu yg keluar exam. Lecturer pun manusia, dia ada humanity. Bila dia tengok budak betul2 nak belajar dia akan tolong. 

- Ni macam point penting gak ah. Jangan kejar nama university. Be smart. Contohnya dia kan nak jadi cikgu tapi dia tak mintak upsi. Dia tau ramai akan apply upsi so dia apply um ambik degree pendidikan. “jadi cikgu jugak kan?” macm medic dia kata apply la ums ke unimas ke.

Ok itu je untuk dishare nanti pape kalau aku teringat aku tambah. SHORT AND SIMPLE SANGAT HAHAHAHHA bye

3 Mac.

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!

Well that date is kind of a nightmare for me, and I'm sure that it is not only me but for the whole 97's Malaysians. Time really flies. Lebih kurang 8 / 9 hari lagi. Seramshit takpayah cerita la kan tahap mana. Menggunung perasaan tu. Bercampur-campur. Mimpi pasal result dah berapa kali pun tak tau. 

Rasa macam baru je semalam daftar hari first form five. Rasa macam baru je semalam duty koop utk hari pendaftaran. Rasa baru je semalam bergembira lunch makan nasi vanggey cikgu Mazlan belanja. Rasa macam baru je semalam terasa senior. Rasa macam baru je semalam bergembira dalam bilik menelaah. Rasa macam baru je semalam study waktu pagi pukul 4 sampai tertidur walaupun dah ikut tips cikgu Zul, dia kata taknak bagi ngantuk nak study pagi pergi mandi dulu but sorry cikgu that didn't work for me hehehehe. Rasa macam baru je semalam bermastautin dalam bilik menelaah, baring atas toto pe semua. Rasa macam baru je semalam menangis sebab stress yang bercampur, dengan oral kena redo, yuran pibg yang masyaAllah boleh carut, Sinar Pagi, tak cukup tidur hias dorm sampai 3-4 pagi then masa yang sama nak Ujian 1. Tengah belajar fizik bab elektrik pun boleh nangis hahahahahah stress level apa ntah tu.

Rasa macam baru je semalam makan bergelak ketawa dengan batchmates dengan my Sigma. Rasa macam baru je semalam menangis ramai-ramai sebab dapat shocking news yang cikgu Roziah dengan cikgu Rafiah kena pindah and waktu tu tengah PPT. Rasa macam baru je semalam buat petisyen untuk hantar kat JPN. Rasa macam baru je semalam terasa dianiaya hahahaha. Rasa macam baru je semalam ada meetings dengan pengetua, dengan pentadbir and dengan orang JPN. Rasa macam baru je semalam seronok sebab pengetua yang baru buat sinar pagi start 6.40 and tak payah pergi perhimpunan. Rasa macam baru je semalam pergi study kat bukit ramai-ramai. Kadang berdua dengan Fafau.

Banyak lagi nak tulis pasal 'Rasa macam baru je semalam' sebenarnya tapi I sebak ok cannot go on T_T . But I do really hope our batch can excel in this SPM. Sebab kami tahu, kami dah nampak apa akibatnya bila SPM sekolah ni tak perform. Kesian sangat dekat cikgu. Orang JPN turun apa semua. Memang la asalnya kitorang as student marah apasal JPN nak marah-marah, benda dah nak jadi. Tapi bila aku join program Perfect Score yang buat kat sekolah haritu, aku faham apa tujuan diorang actually. Diorang nak anak Melayu kita berjaya. Itu peranan diorang. Letak diri kita kat tempat mereka. Adakah kita akan rasa selesa tengok result anak Melayu penuh cela? Ye mungkin cara diorang agak kasar tapi manusia kan, Emosi. Lagi-lagi bila pengetua baru ni. Macam-macam program dia buat. He is really the best principal I ever had. Aku memang harap kami boleh balas jasa beliau dengan semua cikgu lain. I really hope we are not going to make the teachers stressed out because of our result. Harapnya batch 29 akan tinggalkan fairy dust kat sekolah, bukan pasir berdebu ahahaahahahhaha ok bye xoxo

Copycat katanya.

Assalamualaikum ☺

" orang blogging kau sibuk nak ada blog. fynn jamal famous kau pun menggelabah tulis puisi ayat konon berbunga. orang main insta kau pun sibuk mengadap phone edit gambar. "

kata si polan yang tak pernah luak satu sen pun duit dia. yang tak pernah ditagih walau setitis pun peluh dan liur dia. 😏

Mari sini aku nak tanya. Kau solat tu bukan meniru cara Rasulullah solat? Waktu tadika kau belajar tulis ABC bagaimana caranya? Bukan cikgu tulis dan kau tiru? Oh lupa, kau kan yang arif lagi bijaksana memang serba tahu dari azali.

Takpayah kau nak perlekehkan orang yang sedang berusaha mencari bakat dia. Yang sedang menggali di mana passion dia. Yang masih menapak mahu mencari ke mana arah hidupnya. 

Ada erti?

Hi

Hi it is 2.19 am in the morning and i can't sleep because i slept in the afternoon earlier. Yeah because guess what is one of nikmat dunya God blessed you with? Yes, TIDUR PETANG! Ya Rabbi nikmatnya tuhan je tahu hahahaha

Actually i wanted to write something that i learnt from ustaz kazim. Actually he was talking about children, but i really like what he said. 🙆

" Semua yang terjadi kat kita, sebenarnya itulah yang terbaik untuk kita. Kalau kita ada 7 anak, itulah yang terbaik untuk kita. Kalau orang tu takda anak, itulah yang terbaik untuk mereka. Jangan pernah kata orang mandul, sebab orang yang mandul sebenarnya ialah orang yang ada anak, tapi anak-anak itu yang akan menyusahkan dia dekat akhirat nanti. "

So to summarise and simplify it, everything happened for reasons and what happened is planned by Him. We know that He is the best planner. So, chin up. Face the reality. Believe in Him. Your path is the best for you. 💕

Sempurna

Kalau aku sempurna
dah lama aku bahagia
belanja tak payah berkira
bersedekah dengan hati gembira
solat sentiasa dijaga awal waktu sentiasa
result exam semua A sahaja
paras rupa yang indah dipandang mata
Iphone rosak boleh ganti selamba
mak ayah nak pergi umrah setiap bulan pun tak apa
hati baik mulut baik tak pernah mengata
buat hati taulan senang sentiasa
harapnya syurga yang menanti aku di sana
walaupun aku tak sempurna

Buat 29 Aku

2 tahun punya usaha
Datang sinar pagi yang awal gila
Study malam bersengkang mata
Korban tidur untuk periksa
Kelas tambahan tak payah cerita
Duit mengalir keluar macam pili bomba
Mari kita sama-sama usaha dan berjaya
Balas jasa ibu bapa
Mahukah kau result yang bakal diterima
Hanya jadi punca kau berduka
Bila hari itu tiba
Buat kau rasa
Penat lelah kau hanya sia-sia

Hello December :)

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone! *waving*

I'm back! hehe , this is seriously i'm back :D . Oh it is already december! And for the 97's be ready to face the white slip that determine your 2013. hehehehe. Why did I wrote in English? LOL. dunno why. haha. Okay , this month will be the new phase for Sukasukirara. :3 I hope that I will be a better blogger. :') Thats all for now , pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee oh pleaseeeeeeeeeee pray for PMR result!

Saya doakan Nur Athirah bt Mohamad Aziz akan mendapat 8A dalam PMR 2012. Amin! 

Thanks for your prayer! Adios. :*