Assalamualaikum and hello everyone!
Recently, on Twitter there was (and still ongoing I guess) discussion/argument about the nafkah (monthly allowance provided by the husband for the wife's expenses. It is different with the money for the grocery, bills etc) thingy. It started with a tweet saying something like "To the wives and future wives, you should record every nafkah given by the husband, how much you get and how much did you spend for the family while it is supposed to be your husband's responsibilities because if anything happened, you got proof to show to the court". Apparently, that causes rage among some other Twitter users, mostly the male. Among the obnoxious replies to the tweet are:
Tapi kan bagi saya bunyi ayat ni mcm memang betul betul ada plan untuk bercerai, sorry just pendapat bila baca tadi haha
Great idea. Suami dan bakal suami pun boleh juga sediakan diari untuk catat nafkah yg kau bagi dan semua yg extra2, hadiah2 yg ikhlas diberi. Check and balance. Then boleh tulis jugak time isteri tak patuh dan ingkar dan tanggungjawab yg dia miss. You know for audit and stuff
Pergh goldigger in the making.
Prepare untuk cerai, dapatlah cerai.
And there are also replies from the youngsters, telling the harsh reality of what happened to their families. About their irresponsible fathers, about their moms that had been the sole breadwinner of the family while the dads are enjoying their life to the fullest. Some fathers only care for their monthly car payment but all the household expenses, the utility bills, the children's needs are being neglected, leaving the mothers with no choice but to spend their own money.
And as expected, there are replies saying it's a disgrace for them to actually expose their fathers' doing, which reminds me to another tweet that went viral during the past Ramadan that tells a girl's disappointment of a husband that simply sat at the dining table during sahur and said something like "did you forget to take my spoon?" to the wife that woke up at 4 a.m. to prepare the meal and still had no chance to eat instead of just get up and take the spoon by himself.
There were also replies to the tweet telling the same thing happens in their families; about the father that expected to be treated like a king. Just need to take his seat during the meal time and everything else is ready and served, then left the table after done with the meal without even taking his own plate to the sink. Never helped in the house chores as well. Then, there was a tweet saying something like
What's wrong with serving your husband / father? They had been working hard to support the family, giving everything your need. I have no problem to treat my husband / father like a king because that's what they deserve. They've done so much for us.
Well, here is where my title relates to the content. Not all of us are living a happy life. Some are from broken families. Some fathers are like what I stated previously. And for that reason, the children lost their respect for the fathers, because they have seen how their mother struggles to support the family. Probably, their fathers had done worse things that we can't imagine, just because we are lucky enough to have a responsible and lovely father. And of course, not only fathers. There are mothers that never care for their children too. There are mothers that only use their children to make money without even thinking about the children's well being.
So, if you meet someone who refuses to talk about their family, or you know someone that hates his / her family members. Do not judge. Not everyone is lucky to have a happy family. Not everyone has a father that never forget his responsibilities, a father that sacrifices his sleep just to pick us up at the bus station at 4.30 a.m, a father that calls us frequently to ask how we are doing. Not everyone has a mother that never rejected our request for our favourite food, because we were away from home for months. Not everyone has siblings that willing to pick our phone call in the midnight, listen to our rants and shed our tears, and help us when we are in troubles. Not everyone has the chance to celebrate Hari Raya happily, with all the families and relatives gathering together. Some even hates Hari Raya.
Some of us are lucky because we don't have an abusive father, that hit you every single day. We probably never know how it feels to see our parents quarrel with an outburst of profanity right in front of our eyes or that feeling when we are calling our mother in the morning before the exam to ask for her prayer but we were scolded because we ruin her morning routine instead. We never know how hurt it was when a child bought his / her sibling's favourite food but only came home to get beaten because he/she didn't know that the sibling wasn't allowed to eat that food. We never know how it emotionally disturbed it was to be molested several times by our own family member, living a traumatised life and had to act like nothing happened and all is well just for the sake of "jaga aib". (This is the harsh reality of the society. There are a lot of unreported cases because of jaga aib thingy.) We never know how disappointing it can be when we studied very hard and scored excellently just to get a remarks like "this is mediocre, you can never beat your older sibling".
In short, all of us are living under the same sky, but we all are living a different life. Be grateful with our blessings, because there are people out there who really want to live our life. Never judge someone's act, decision or behaviour without being in his/her shoes.
Bye!
